When I had W, a lot of my friends didn’t have kids and weren’t even married. Sure, high school friends were already in the family way, but the buds I met after school were definitely still years away from this stage. Having or not kids does divide friends on some level. It’s impossible to really understand if you don’t have them—I know because I used to be that person.

The truth is, life shifts enormously when it happens. I remember feeling, especially in that first year, absolutely liberated if I got to go out for the evening. It’s like I had to “get it in” while I could. And I’m not alone. I’ve been to enough mommy-only girls nights to know moms with freedom can go buck wild.

So, an ode:

It’s hard to have friends that aren’t mommies,
They don’t understand your need to go to parties,
And drink like a fish and pretend and just wish,
That all day isn’t spent talking poopy and farties.

They act like you’re that girl out of high school,
Who was sheltered and totally uncool,
But then she moved out and turned un-devout,
And could only drink, fail, and drool.

Your friend without kids still blow-dry their hair,
And wear clean clothes and look like they care,
They don’t understand that if you get out,
It’s the first time in weeks you’ve gotten there.

Your friends without kids take for granted,
How really and truly you’re planted
At home and it’s cool because you wanted to be,
But hey: your previous schedule’s supplanted.

So friends without kids, let’s be real,
Your old pal is desperate to feel,
The sweet taste of freedom but it’s got to be done
Right now! It’s already 8:30! That’s the deal.

Q: Have your relationships to your friends changed since having a child? How is it different?

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