Now that I’m a mom of two, I really enjoy listening to people without kids talk about having kids.  No matter if they have a baby on the way, just got married, or are dreaming of the day when they are in the right situation to have a baby, I always get a good chuckle out of their preconceived parenthood notions.  (Truthfully, I had some of these same ideas myself pre-mommyhood!)  So, if you are already a parent and want a good laugh: keep reading!  If you are a soon-to-be-parent: heads-up.

Here’s my favorite comment that pre-mommies make about delivery:

“Well, I’ve read stories online about women who were running just one week after delivery.  I’ve been exercising this whole pregnancy, and I know delivery won’t be a problem for me.”

My reply: It is truly amazing that some women in this world have deliveries that allow them to do that.  I actually do know one person, just one mind you, out of all the mommies I know, for whom this proved to be true.  However, that is the EXCEPTION to the rule.  Although women are made to have babies, the experience is traumatic for your body.  If you have a C-section or have higher than a 2nd degree tear during a vaginal delivery, you will be moving slowly for a while.  Some of the fittest pregnant women I know had complications during delivery and had to have a C-section.  So, go ahead and dream big, but don’t be shocked if it takes your body a little bit longer to recover than you anticipated.

Here’s another one of my favorite comments that pre-parents make about having children in general:

“I’m not going to let this baby change my life.  It’s going to fit into my routine and lifestyle.  Why, I’ve read about people who take their newborn babies sailing all around the world, go on transcontinental road trips, etc…  If those people can do it, then I can do it too.”

My reply: I usually just smile and don’t contradict them.  Once again, I’m sure there are a handful of people in this world who don’t change their lifestyle and routines to accommodate their new baby, and that’s fine for them.  However, my life changed drastically after I became a mom.  I had a great life before kids.  I have a great life now.  One life is not better or worse than the other; they are just really different.  Honestly, you can’t even imagine what your life with kids will be like before it happens.

But I will tell you this observation:  Some newborns will sleep anytime and anywhere, but some newborns will not.  After a newborn turns 4 months old, he or she will want a predictable sleep routine that includes regular naptimes and bedtimes.  That baby will sleep better and be happier.  As a result, you will sleep better and be happier.

Another favorite comment that people make before having kids is anything that starts with: “I would never….”

(This is the one I was most guilty of pre-parenthood!  I had a good-sized list of ‘I-will-nevers’.)

My reply: Once again, I just smile and nod.  You’ll be surprised at how many of those you will break – all non-abusive I-will-nevers aside, of course!  Here’s a few of mine that I have broken.

“I will never let my child sleep with me all the time.”  Our oldest co-slept with us until she was 1 ½ years old.  We broke it for a year until Daddy caved after the birth of our second child.  Hey!  Working parents have to sleep!

“I will never use the television or iPad as a babysitter.”  I hate to admit it, but  I do use this one to prepare meals when my husband is not at home.  (He has the kind of job where he has to work late a few days per week.  It’s just easier to get breakfast, lunch, or dinner ready when both kids are within sight in the living room but not underfoot in the kitchen.)  My oldest is super-smart, so it hasn’t hurt her at all.

“I will never give my child a meal option for dinner.  He or she will just eat what we eat.”  My oldest daughter likes many different foods, but she does not like chili or potato soup.  Unfortunately, my husband and I do, and those meals are easy to make.  Instead of forcing her to eat something she doesn’t like, I always let her eat something different on those dinner nights.

Those are just a few of the I-will-nevers that I have broken.  When you become a parent, I’m sure you will break some of yours too!

Now that you are a parent, what are some comments about parenthood that pre-mommies and pre-daddies say that make you chuckle?